I feel frustrated. What can I do?

Question

Natali Edmonds · Answer

When you are in a frustrating caregiving situation, it is important to respond in a way that is helpful for both you and your loved one. I have an acronym called CALM that can guide you through these moments.

The first step is to create a coping statement (C) that resonates with you and makes you feel good. This can be something like "This is going to be okay" or "I can do hard things." Repeat this statement to yourself in difficult moments to bring yourself some comfort.

Next, focus on your breathing and take in some air (A). By controlling your breath, you signal to your brain that you are in control and safe. You can try breathing in for four seconds, holding your breath for four seconds, and then breathing out for four seconds. This can help you regain a sense of calm and take your mind off the frustrating situation.

When possible, leave the space that you are in (L). It could be going outside to the backyard, heading to your room, or even finding a few moments of privacy in the bathroom. Changing your environment, even for a short while, can be beneficial.

Lastly, move your body (M). Engage in physical activity like going for a walk, doing some stretches, or following an exercise video on YouTube. Moving your body and getting your blood flowing can help release tension and improve your mood.

Remember, these are simple and free strategies that can help you when you're feeling overwhelmed. Keep the CALM acronym in mind: Coping Statement, Air, Leave, and Move.

Robert Reid · Answer

As a caregiver, feeling frustrated is normal when caring for someone with dementia. It's important to recognize the source of your frustration and how you usually cope with such feelings. Remember, moments of frustration are expected, but practicing empathy, patience, and understanding can ease these emotions. It's crucial to understand that your loved one with dementia is not intentionally trying to cause frustration. Approach each situation with care, knowing that your support and understanding are essential in providing the best care possible.

Sharon Hall · Answer

Being a caregiver for someone with dementia can be frustrating, but it's important to remember that nobody is perfect in this role. It's a constant learning process, and it's okay to make mistakes. Taking classes and educating yourself about caregiving can help you deal with uncertainties.

One of the main sources of frustration is when the person with dementia doesn't understand or follow your instructions. They may struggle to process information or communicate their needs. In these situations, it's important to let go of your expectations and find alternative ways to assist them. For example, if they can't get up from a chair, offer a helping hand instead of insisting they do it on their own. Planning ahead and giving them plenty of time can also alleviate frustration because they need more time to process and respond.

It's essential to reflect on your own actions and see how you can handle frustrations differently. If you're giving commands too quickly or not communicating clearly, that's on you, not the person with dementia. Recognizing what triggers your frustration and finding alternative approaches can make caregiving less overwhelming.

Remember, being a caregiver for someone with dementia is challenging, but with practice and patience, you can improve your ability to handle frustrations effectively.

Patti LaFleur · Answer

Feeling frustrated as a caregiver is completely normal, and it's something I can relate to. I remember feeling frustrated and exhausted, not knowing where to turn. One of the best things you can do is find your community. Even if you don't know who those people are right now, take the time when you're calm and things are going well to build a community of supportive individuals. In my case, my community wasn't just my family or local friends. It became an online community, people I met in support groups or on Instagram. Having someone to reach out to, even just for a quick vent, is incredibly important.

Taking care of yourself is also crucial. Make sure you're taking breaks and seeking the support you need. It's helpful to have something to look forward to as well. For example, my mom would attend respite weekends at a local memory care, so I knew those dates were coming and it gave me something to anticipate. Having that sense of anticipation can make a big difference in getting through each day.

Lastly, remember that you're not alone. There are many other caregivers experiencing similar feelings. It's okay to be frustrated. Watching someone you love go through changes can be incredibly difficult. Give yourself the grace and patience to acknowledge your frustrations, and reach out to at least one person, even if it's just through a text or call. Having that support network in place can make all the difference.

Jessica Smith · Answer

Feeling frustrated is tough, but there are ways to cope with it. First, take some deep breaths. It may seem simple, but it can help give you a moment to collect your thoughts. Next, try to understand where your frustration is coming from. Are you wishing things were different or denying the reality in front of you? If so, it's important to change your perspective. When those frustrated thoughts come up, ask yourself how you can approach the situation differently. Take some time to reflect and see what that means for you. It's okay to feel frustrated - many of us do. If you want to change that feeling, try to sit with it for a moment. Even if you're busy, take a quick pause and try to figure out what's really going on beneath the frustration. Remember, it's important to acknowledge and address your feelings.

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